The Beginning...Ectopic Pregnancy

Since I was a little girl all I have ever wanted was a baby I could call my own....Growing up I thought it would be so easy to make that dream come true...Reality proved different.

At age 17, un-married and with the boyfriend who would not be my husband I became pregnant. Being young, immature, and scared of what my parents would say - I took the what seemed to be the "right at that time route "- abortion. Now 13 years later, it saddens me that, that could have been my only chance in a successful pregnancy.

I have been married going on 7 years. 3 years into marriage is where this baby making journey begins. I believe most women longing to get pregnant, begin to closely watch for signs every month to see if this could be it! Well for me, that is the case. I pay close attention to everything - am i a little more tired, are my boobs a little more sore, am i having more headaches, am I a little more hungry, am i a little more emotional, is that the possible pregnancy glow...So hopeful every month - I think I began to imagine that I was a little more of it all.

In 2005 I conceived. My conception was exciting...I didn't wait 5 seconds after the pregnancy test turned positive to make my first pre-natal appointment.
The doctor confirmed yes, i was pregnant!! They took my HCG levels and told me the next day they were very low - most likely due to the fact that I was very early. In the next days I had created accounts on probably every baby website, and went and bought several pregnancy books. They have the rule - wait 3 months to tell everyone - but I couldn't wait that long! All friends, family and co-workers were told of my exciting news. A week or so after, I begin seeing spots when I would go to the bathroom and would wipe. They started off pink and gradually ended up deep red. I remembered reading that spotting during pregnancy could be normal, but that deep dark red could be a dangerous sign. Without hesitation, I went into the doctor to get checked out. They told me that was normal, and again took my HCG levels. They called me a day or so later, and the levels were still low. The spotting continued, and I knew in my gut something was wrong. I returned to the doctor again - and again they said, it was normal and not to worry and it would be too early to do an ultrasound - I had to wait until my HCG level reached over 1,000. Unsatisfied with the doctors certainty - I phoned another doctor at UCLA.

The first thing the new Dr. did was give me the ultrasound the other said it was too early to do. She found that I was pregnant in my right fallopian tube - ectopic pregnancy.
She gave me the Methotrexate shot to pass the tubal pregnancy mass/clot so that I could miscarry. I went in every two days to give blood, so they could monitor the HCG levels until they reached zero. At the time I was diagnosed with ectopic - my numbers were at 9,000. 2 weeks later I had got to 150. March 15, 2005 at 6am, I woke up in the worst pain in the world. Home alone, unable to move an inch, balled up, light headed and throwing up - I called 911. My mother had to come open the door for the ambulance men as I was stuck in my bed. It took them 10 min to lift me off the bed on to the gerny. The pain was so intense in my abdomen...on the ride to ER they asked me a million questions. I kept saying I think it is just gas - trapped gas....I let them know of the ectopic pregnancy, but that it could not be that because I had already done something about it. Hooked up to IV, they began running tests and gave me a nice dose of medicine to ease the pain. When it was time for me to walk to the next room, I stood up and my blood pressure dropped tremendously- I was on my way to blacking out! The nurse said I don't think trapped gas would make your blood pressure drop. She did an ultrasound and found a mass/clot. The Dr. believed it was part of the ectopic that did not pass with the rest of it....they would need to do laporoscopy surgery to take a closer look. Last I knew I was rushed into the big white surgery room with numerous doctors and nurses around me leaving me with "everything will be okay" before the sleepy mask was put on my face and 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 I was out.

Waking up I was surrounded by curtains and my husband leaning over me asking me how i felt. I was still in the pain i remembered. The nurse came in to let me know they had cut an incision in my right fallopian tube. The tube was on it's way to bursting - which would have lead to my death. Thank God I called 911. They told me my chances of getting pregnant again and having another ectopic pregnancy in that same tube was like a 9% chance. And if I did, they would have to remove the tube completely. After it all, the only emotions felt was sadness and discouragement...Why me? Was this my consequence for ridding of my 1st pregnancy at 17? A million thoughts ran thru my head daily....but I finally concluded, it was just not my time and that my time would come....I came to find more comfort in that my life was saved that day and that everything would be okay....We would try again...